Nads 102, Steel Curtain 91 (Matchup of the Week)
With absolutely nothing to gain by winning this matchup but a worse draft pick in 2011, somehow the Nads’s squad found inspiration and put up stud like numbers against the league’s highest scoring team. That $10 high score is about to buy me one cheek (or half a lapdance). To my 2010 keeper Favre: RIP. 
Hoof Hearted 100, Horn Supremacy 85
What an impressive season for Hoof… Grantville Bandits were the only squad to top this juggernaut. After digging through the fantasy football archives, this is the winningest season on record as no team has ever run the table (don’t even get me started on the Pats in ’07). Vic hasn’t won the regular season since 2001, and like in real life, is a superbowl virgin. To Vic’s cherry: RIP.
Kolb 68, Duke Plays Football 45
Due to the Nads drubbing of the Steel Curtain, DPF snuck in the 3 hole with an embarrassing 45 point performance. (Almost as embarrassing as DPF’s 44 point performance loss to me in week 4.) DPF has got to be seriously depressed after posting both the 2nd and 3rd worst weekly totals all season. I suggest he forfeit his playoff spot to the next in line worthy opponent… no? oh well, worth a shot. This matchup will be replayed this week as Kolb had already all but secured the 1st loser (runnerup) award. To all lawyers in the league that are not named George: screw you, I’m going home
Oedipus Rex 72, Grantville Bandits 65
This was the “SACKO BOWL” of our league. And although ORR put a ‘W’ on the board, the point deficient was just too great. I’ve just FedExed to ORR an exact replica mold of my scrotum to be proudly displayed on your mantle. I also just have to laugh when I see that SF put up 40 points last week, yet Michael Crabtree, the supposed “messiah” coming into this year only managed 1 catch for 1 yard. Good riddens. To the Sacko: 1st pick overall is overrated (call me)
Crimson Pride 81, Apples 56
Last year’s champ (Apples) rode Michael Vick into the sunset with a hell of a keeper next year. Meanwhile Patric stunningly was too worried about a 25 point buffer to risk starting a 2nd WR in a meaningless game as they might fumble 13 times. I suspect the commissioner will perform an intensive investigation as to why TB/Arrelious Benn (139 yards) was benched. Or not… To Apples: should have quit when you were on top
Ballsacks 76, Bama Runts 67
How could I lose to both of these ridiculously pitiful squads?? To Sax, I hope you’ve been practicing your curls as we’re going to tip back a few this weekend.
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