Week 11 Wraps

A solid week for the playoff contenders as each of Hoof, Nads, Duke, Steel and Korn kept up their winning ways to inch closer to the playoffs.

Steel Curtain vs. Horn Supremacy - The Steel Curtain lived up to their name in the thrashing of the Horns, much like the Aggies did on Thanksgiving.

Duke vs Crimson - Duke was able to pull out a squeaker in a low scoring affair that kept them in the drivers seat for a playoff spot.

Hoof vs Virginia - Hoof clinched the first playoff spot with their victory over the Apples in the closest bout of the day thanks to a huge effort by Greg Jennings.

Nads of Steel vs. Bandits - Nads kept in contention with a strong victory over the Bandits, who every week seem to keep it close every week just to fall short.

Korn vs. Bama - The three-headed monster running attack of MoJo, Arian and The Jax, along with the bombing away of Rivers helped Korn overcome the absence of the top TE in the league.

Oedipus vs ballsacks - In the battle for the cellar, Oedipus put the hurtin on the ballsacks and have inched closer to respectability, now only one game behind the Peloton.

WRAP UPS

JERSEY SHORE EDITION

(1) Kolb defeats Grantville -- Ronnie vs. guy in street. Yeah, the guy he got arrested for beating down. This goes back to season 1 when Ronnie was more fun than just being the subject of a typed note. Any time the team you are playing gets 27 from Fred Jackson, you have no chance of winning. Seriously, 27 from Fred freaking Jackson.

(2) Apples defeat Oedipus -- Sammi vs. J-Woww. For the entire lead up to this, you thoght Oedipus (J-Wooww) had it won. No way Sammi hangs with J-Woww, right? Just like there was no way Vick drops 50 on MNF. Then BAM. Sammi clocks J-Woww out of nowhere and Vicks destroys the Skins. What a gut punch loss.

(3) Ballsacks beat Duke Football -- Pauly D vs. Vinnie. Could they fight? Sure. Would they? Who knows. But if they did, it would certianly come down to the wire like this one. The opening play of MNF may have sealed the deal, but I was not paying close enough attention. Regardless, Pauly D's tats and hair win out by the slightest of margins.

(4) Curtain defeats Pride -- Ronnie vs. other guy in the street. This one is the dude Ronnie knocked out before the cameras could get there. He went right down, bro! It sucks when you could have perhaps had Dwayne Bowe, only he then drops 30 on you in a 20 point loss by KC. Fantasy football can really blow sometimes.

(5) Nads beats Horn -- Snooki vs. Angelina. David Garrard is the Angelina of fantasy football. If you get the most points on your team from him, you deserve to lose. Angelina threw a Hail Mary in calling everyone fake and throwing down with Snooki. It didn't work for her. Garrard's garbage points weren't enough for the Horn either.

(6) Hoof Hearted over Runts -- Situation vs. celebrity of the rest of the cast. Know matter how sucky The Situation might be, he still is the class of the crew and found his way onto DWTS. So even though Hoof is not the top point scorer in the league and yet again only scored thre 6th most points this week, he got it done. It irks me, but facts are facts. In a league where we don't play a defense, Hoof has the best defense in the league.

Week 10 Previews

Oedipus Rex Ryan v. Virginia Apples

Yahoo! Line: Apples by 10

With Mike Vick behind center and their double-Johnson attack through the air, the Apples look to step one step closer to winning out and sniffing a playoff spot. However, the steps will get a lot harder from here on out - it's not everyday that you get to step over an ORR team starting Mike Crabtree, in an NFL game.

Duke Plays Football v. Ballsacks

Yahoo! Line: Duke by 8

Fantasy gets better than real life as Kyle Orton faces off against Jay Cutler in a matchup of 2 QBs who were traded for each other. While a real life matchup would be massively entertaining, especially if it happens in Denver, its fantasy counterpart doesn't quite match up. This pits 2 teams going in opposite directions - and Duke should cruise to an easy win.

Steel Curtain v. Crimson Pride

Yahoo! Line: Crimson by 1

This is an absolute must win game for both squads, who were coming into the game with identical 5-4 records. Will first time starter Mike Goodson bring the goods? Will Felix Jones see a revamped role in the offense with a new coach? Frankly, the most important player in this matchup is Tom Brady, who faces the notoriously tough Pittsburgh defense. His struggles likely dooms the Curtain, bringing back reminders of 2005, when Brady's 3 pt performance in week 15 sank the Curtain in the playoffs.

Nads of Steel v. Horn Supremacy

Yahoo! Line: Horns by 14

The 4-5 Horns are mirroring their real life counterparts in performance. While the real horns are on the receiving end of another whipping, the fantasy horns look poised to notch a win with their season in critical condition. Is Danny Woodhead really eligible at both RB and WR? Is Hakeem Nicks really the most dangerous WR in fantasy? I think the answer to both questions is yes, and I think the Horns will prevail handily.

Korn on the Kolb v. Grantsville Bandits

Yahoo! Line: No Line

Obviously, Tylwalk is too busy covering the Pacquiao-Margarita fight to actually replace his bye-week players. Pending my substitutions, Grantsville will make this one close, but Korn should get by - barely!

Hoof Hearted v. Bama Runts

Yahoo! Line: Runts by 1

If anyone thought Peyton Hillis would be the highest projected scorer for a team in week 10, that person is lying. But - the other Peyton is rumbling over tacklers and lighting up the scoreboard - and so are the Runts. Their line-up of unknowns should pull out the unlikely stunner over the league's best team, by record.

Week 9 Wrapups

Well, I managed to dodge the bullet for the first 8 weeks, but I knew sooner or later the gravy train would come to an end. That’s right, I’m actually contributing to the league message board in order to secure my top scoring bonus. And I use the term “contributing” very loosely…

Steel Curtain 95, Ballsax 74 (Matchup of the Week)

OK, when your starting RBs are Chris Ivory (4^th string) and Donald Brown (2^nd string), you probably wouldn’t think this would lead to victory. Let alone a comfortable one. But if you look closer, Ballsax were actually winning by 5 going into the MNF contest with only T.O. left on the roster for Curtain. I guess T.O. brought the popcorn.

Korn on the Kolb 86, Horn Supremacy 75

Arian ‘bleepin’ Foster? An undrafted (in the NFL) running back from Tennessee who’s #2 in overall fantasy points. And Philip Rivers? #1 in overall fantasy points… Vic may have a 2 game cushion going into Week 10, but I sure wouldn’t want to face Kolb in the playoffs at this point.

Nads 112, Crimson Pride 68

Yes, I am a fantasy genius. But did I think that Javarris James, the 4^th string RB on the Colts, and picked up off FA last minute would score 2 TDs? No. But I also didn’t think the Patriots and Tom Brady (“Pretty”) would crap themselves against the Browns. As Patric started 4 Patriots, this was not a good omen.

Hoof Hearted 80, Oedipus Rex 60

Is it just me or has everyone just been rolling over when Vic is next up on the schedule? C’mon boys, let’s make the regular season champion actually have to break a sweat, shall we? Vic rolls again – ho-hum.

(How much you willing to be that Vic is sporting a pants tent after reading this poster?)

Duke Plays Football 92, Virginia Apples 70
Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari are dating? Seems like Jay may have been a little distracted as the Bears barely managed to squeak by the soon-to-be CFL Buffalo Bills. Way to go Jay. Oh and Adrian Peterson put up enough points to crush the Apples hopes of back-to-back championships.

Bama Runts 109, Grantville Bandits 70

Peyton Hillis? A throwaway RB who Denver kept on the bench and who is now the 4^th highest scoring RB? Oh and who is Jacob Tamme? I guess I should probably know since I drafted Dallas Clark, but holy crap this guy looks good after a few games.

Week 9 Previews!

Many thanks to Ronnie Dukes for writing these:

As we are in the 2nd half of the season now,with only 2 games separating 2nd place with 11th place,each weeks games become bigger as the teams plays for playoff positions.

Six interesting games on tap for this week.The only mismatch on paper appears to be Hoof Hearted(7-1) vs. last place Oedipus Rex Ryan(2-6),who lost last week to the lowly Runts!!.ORR is working around a lot of byes but could cause problems if Big Ben stays out of the Cincinnati bars.HH has to much power at RB and will get another win.

Duke Doesn't Play Football(5-3) vs. Virginia Apples (3-5).The Apple could pull the upset over the Dukies with the QB situation with the Dukies(Moore,Romo,Young).Does any of them even play??They can only hope Peterson runs and runs so more!The Apples are looking for Vick and Charles to have a big week.

Interesting game with Steel Curtain(4-4) vs. Ballsacks(3-5) or better said Brady vs. Rodgers.Whichever QB does the best, that team will probably come out with the victory.

The battle of the brothers!!Crimson Pride(5-3) takes on the (3-5) Nads of Steel.The battle of the Manning brothers,Eli and Peyton.I'll go with the older,wiser and better brother so lets take the team in Crimson.The team in Red might be hurt by RB Matthews who seems to get hurt each week.The Nads will look to RB Turner to help but lets still go with the older Manning and the team in Red.

Korn vs. Horn: The 5-3 Korn has been riding the arm of Rivers,the running of Foster and catching of Marshall and Gates.The 4-4 Horn counter with the arm of Freeman,running of Bradshaw and the catching of A. Johnson and Nicks.Got to go with the Korn.

Last game of the week pits the 4-4 Granville vs the terrible 3-5 Runts.Granville looks stonger than their 4-4 record with Brees,the running of Mendenhall,the resurgent LT and Greene.Not much help at WR.Still this should be plenty against the lowly Runts who depends on a running back named Hillis,3 Colts receivers(Wayne,Collie and a nice pickup in TE Tamme).Only problem doesn't have Manning to throw to them stuck with Palmer and Flacco.The Bandits in a rout.

Good luck to al lthe teams this week ,I'm out!!