Undefeated seasons require a lot of luck. In this game, Antonio Bryant and Laurence Maroney would have handed Mark the win. Sadly for him and the 72 Dolphins, the Apples pulled out a squeaker on the strength of Phillip Rivers, Donald Brown's injury, and Dwayne Bowe's miraculous ability to get a TD on a miserable team with no QB. Also, it might be time to consider Ochocinco for a starting spot. Fun fact for the league: The following are teams with more total points than the 7 and 0 Apples (599) and their season records:
Tackle Me Elmo (701) 5-2
Hoof Hearted (668) 3-4
Breach Kid (618) 1-6
Burrested Development (612) 4-3
Aggies (607) 2-5
MN Vicodins 74 Nads of Steel 58 Prediction: Right
This was a boring miserable game. Drew Brees accounted for 3 of the Vicondins' 4 tds, and two came on the ground. While the franchise qb should be more careful with his fragile body, a late surge by the Breesus saved the Vicodins' thin hopes for a title. Also of note from this game: Lee Evans is on a bit of a roll. He might make an actual fantasy contribution before the season is done, though he is behind Randy Moss and Calvin Johnson on the depth chart. The Nads got a fast start from Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark, then petered out. Donovan McNabb failed to exploit a horrendous Redskins defense, and the Nads missed an easy one. Could be time for the Nads to regroup for next season.
Korn on the Kolb 93 Steel Curtain 75 Prediction: Right (and correct on the Curtain's point total)
If not for Westbrook's concussion the previews might have hit this one on the nose. I have no idea if that is hard to do because I never get to write the previews. Wrapups, on the other hand... seems like every other week. The real outliers here were Romo and Slaton, who gave KotK the win with big days. Romo seems to have locked in on Miles Austin's giant teeth, which could be big for his value going forward. Slaton probably still sucks, but Schaub is opening up the field which gives him opportunities to score. Other than Reggie Bush learning to fly, this was another disappointing day for the Curtain, who should invest in crooked refs like the real Stealers... er... Steelers. But seriously, check out Miles Austin's teeth.
Ballsacks 95 CC Coastals 45 Prediction: Wrong
Aaron Rodgers and DeSean Jackson could have won this one on their own, though benching everyone else might not have been a good coaching move for the Sacks. If the Coastals have, as alleged, given up on the season... well... they probably made the right choice. The Coastals have a resurgent Brady (finally) but not much else. They failed to cross the goal line altogether, and the kicker didn't even make a field goal. Brady's passing tds kept the Coastals from challenging the league points minimum held by Derek Anderson and the Vicodins, but doubling up the worst score in history is rarely the hallmark of a good week.
Hoof Hearted 101 Breach Kid 75 Prediction: Right
Usually a 2 and 4 team against a 1 and 5 team is not a marquee matchup, but Hoof and Breach are two of the three highest scoring teams in the league. Breach continued to defy mathematics by losing despite strong performances from Vincent Jackson and Peyton "MVP Candidate" Manning. Seriously, look at Breach Kid's record and you will wonder what he did to get that kind of karma. He's lost by 1, 2, and 5 points. He has also lost while putting up 100 points. This was a pretty conventional loss, however. And not a close one. I will now turn this recap over to Larry Johnson's Tweets:
Hoof Larry Johnson: @BreachKid: "Sorry ur a cornball n ur mom birthed u broke (and your team is unlucky). But I'm cakn patna. While u work or school for 5 dollas n hour. Ha!"
Hoof Larry Johnson: @DukeLeague: "then don't reply then (to my trade proposals). Still richer then u. Keep goin. Come play our game ooops forgot u can't."
Tackle Me Elmo 119 Burressted Development 53 Prediction: Wrong
Burressted may have lost the game, but Chris Cooley's ankle will prevent him from benching Vernon Davis on a 3 td outing next week. Once you realize you've benched two players with huge games (Carson Palmer being the other one), you can only hope you lose by enough points that your decision didn't cost you a win. Fortunately the Elmos cooperated with big games from Thomas Jones and Rickey Williams. Between Williams and Cedric Benson it was a big week for pothead Longhorns. Note to the Elmos: Sydney Rice is Favre's favorite target (especially if Harvin is dinged up). He should be starting, though his keeper value is contingent on the old man with the NFL record for most career interceptions.
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