Week 5 Wrap Ups

Nads of Steel XI vs. Aggies

With A-Pete playing against Detroit and Big Ben going against the Lions, you just knew that the Aggies would put up a competitive total and the NoS would need a solid all around game to keep up. Unfortunately, NoS started Jerome "Don't call me Marvin" Harrison and "Whatchu Talkin' Bout" Willis McGahee at RB and they combined for 2.3 fantasy points. On the other hand, former Longhorn RB Ced Benson helped the AGGIES out by becoming the first RB to bust a C-note on the Raven's D in 40 games. I'm just sayin'

Breach Kid vs. Newport Beach Apples

Relocation has worked wonders for the Apples who remained undefeated thanks to a herculean effort by Matt "We're going to take the ball and we're gonna score" Hasselbeck. Welcome back to the big show Matty -- now try and keep that arm from falling off. No-shows for Breach Kid include former NFL leading rusher Chris Johnson who missed out on the Yahoo projection by 13 points.

ballsacks vs. Steel Curtain X

The defending champ ballsacks improves to 3-2 on the season thanks to Sergeant Winslow's 100 yd + 2 TD effort. Good thing too since Desean Jackson noshowed in the same game. Oh yeah, that Andre Johnson guy is pretty good too. Burner Turner tried to make it a contest on the Curtain's behalf but really this was a lost cause for them from the word Go.

BurrestedDevelopment vs. Korn on the Kolb

Big day for BD's Miles Austin negates 'No' Romo on the other side of the ball. That and two zero point contributors on your roster will lead to all sorts of glorious downfalls any day of the week.

Hoof Hearted vs. Capital City Coastals

If you're looking for all the scoring this week, you can stop right here. These two teams combined for 15 touchdowns scored and that effort was led by Rowdy Roddy White for HH and Ahmad Bradshaw for the Coastals. It was a close game going into Monday night football but Ronnie Brown blew up like the Godfather for Hoof. It was nice to see Harrison give up the Preview writing duties even before the game however undeserved it may have been (You never know when Leon Washington is going to show up). But, hey, I guess that Preview money is about as credible as Nobel Peace Prizes these days.

Tackle Me Elmo vs. Minnesota Vicodins

I was called a lucky mofo for playing the Vicodins during Brees' bye week and well, they were right. I knew I was going to have a bad week looking at all the matchups, so all thanks to Minnesota for being true pain killers. I think the 19.72 points this week might be a new all time low too.