Week 3 Wrap-Ups

Week 3 Wrap-Ups


Newport Beach Apples 63.22, Capital City Coastals 62.28

Harrison’s bet on the aging Patriots offense failed him in Week 3. The Coastals might want to email Belichick some new plays because there isn’t much on his team apart from the Brady/Moss duo. Apples manage to pull another horseshoe out of its ass for (sadly enough), its best start in its nine years in the league.


Hoof Hearted 100.70, Steel Curtain X

Well, somebody had to win. Vic’s gamble on Matt Schaub in the draft seems to be working as he’s thrown 7 TDs in two weeks. A congrats/condolences to the winner and loser of this game is probably in order, but since everybody hates lawyers, why bother?

(Do people even make lawyer jokes anymore? Maybe it’s just me, but it seems that even before the collapse of the economy that bankers have become a lot more hated than lawyers.)

Breach Kid 98.06, Aggies 74.94

After a couple of heartbreaking defeats to start the season, Nate finally adds a crooked number to the Win column with a 98 point performance in Week 3. Experts could point to Peyton’s 4 TD performance or up and comers like Vincent Jackson and Brandon Marshall. For my money, it was Tim Hightower’s invaluable moral support that made all the difference.


Ballsacks 104.26, DropItLikeUrBraylon 75.48

As mentioned last week after Frank Gore’s 200+ yd performance, you got to put up with the inevitable Week 3 caliber performances in order to get the good. The ballsacks’ strategy of cornering the market on every fantasy football starter with a last name starting with “J” seems to be working.


Korn on the Kolb 71.20, Minnesota Vicodins 55.98

The problem with having one guy carrying your team is if that one guy has an off night, you’re pretty much screwed for that week. Case in point the Vicodins in Week 3 as such immortal fantasy studs like Derrick Ward, LeSean McCoy, and Dustin Keller failed to pick up the load. Kolb’s pickup of the some guy named Tashard Choice sealed the win.

PS. – Drew Brees!


Nads of Steel XI 85.34, Tackle Me Elmo 75.36

Not satisfied with picking up players in their thirties, Jason decided to kick things up a notch by picking up and starting a QB damn near 40. Favre drops 22 points en route to a 10 point win by the Nads. The Elmos came back to earth in week 3 with craptacular performances by all players not named Maurice Jones-Drew. Let’s hope the trend continues in Week 4.