Week 1 In Review

DropItLikeUrBraylon 79.62, Hoof Hearted 52.04

Don’t let Vic’s 52 points fool you. Under the old system, the score would be a pathetic 36.08 points. This is opening week, without any byes or in-season injuries to drag down the numbers. With a roster of guys who either had their last good season several years ago (Johnson, Jackson) or are being counted to play much better than their career norms, it looks like another long year for the Hoof. And a hearty welcome back to Patric, who apparently hasn’t updated his receiver list since his last time in the league.


Vicodins 112.52, ballsacks 69.96

Drew Brees is Drew Brees. The Lions are the Lions. The results were predictable as George got some encouraging performances from Derrick Ward and Mike Bell as well en route to a rout. The ballsacks are going to need Johnson and Jacobs to perform better for a repeat of last year.


Korn on the Kolb 87.02, Nads of Steel XI

As usual, while everyone else was drafting some hotshot rookie or 25 year old breakout candidate, the Nads rounded up all the discarded and timeworn vets hoping to squeeze one last good season out of them before they expire. Not satisfied with a winning record and a previous championship in the past, the Nads are doubling down on this strategy with a starting lineup with an average age of 32.6. Half these guys were playing back when “Back That Ass Up” and “The Thong Song” were capturing the nation’s imagination and a bunch of college kids from Duke first formed this league.

Not surprisingly, two of these guys hurt themselves while losing to the not-quite-as-ancient Kolb. Kolb gets big performances from all its oldsters to notch its first victory in the league.


Coastals 70.12, Breach Kid 69.14

Harrison’s bets on the New England and Oakland offenses pay off in a squeaker. But with an injury to a starting WR, poor bench performance, and a lowish points total against a pretty easy schedule: the Coastals look likely to struggle this year. As for Nate, the Kid benches an RB who scored 10 TDs last year and was playing against a bad defense in Week 1 for an RB who’s scored 7 TDs in two years playing against a great defense…thus leaving 11.20 points on the table and the game. Why? Coaching talent!


Tackle Me Elmo 111.16, Aggies 91.34

The top two title contenders duke it out in Week 1. The Aggies have their share of question marks on their roster, but an All-World RB like AP can take care of those problems. Mark’s got a good mix of stud performers (Boldin, Thomas, Witten) and high-ceiling guys to support AP in making a run. Case in point Week 1 where the Aggies put up the fourth highest point total despite an underachieving performance from the non-AP portion of his lineup.

Jay got excellent performances across the board from his lineup as well as good numbers from 4 of his bench players. With the best set of RBs in the league, a QB growing into a superstar, and an interesting set of WRs, look for Elmo to be near or at the top of the standings this year.


Apples 112.98, Curtain 52.48

Ugh. The Apples sport a roster where all of its RBs are threatened to have their playing time bogarted and only one WR comes without question marks. Nonetheless, the Apples squad managed to play near its top level of expectations. The Curtain’s bench looks really weak and I’m not sold on Reggie Bush until he starts matching his talent with on-field production. But with an excellent set of receivers, a talented QB, and a top 3 RB in Michael Turner: Brian’s team should normally play a lot better than this so long as he avoids the injury bug.