Week 8 Wrap-Ups

Minnesota Vico-Giants 80
Newport Beach Patriots 70

Prediction: wrong

What happens when an unstoppable force hits an impenetrable object? Ask Drew Brees, who stayed unbeaten at the expense of the Apples. This wasn't an impressive game for either team, but very significant in the standings as it opens up the field for Hoof Hearted, BurrestedDevelopment, and the powerful Elmos. These three teams might very well make the playoffs, which leaves one spot for the scrappy (aka, bad) KotK, Apples, and Vicodins. Since I'm working in threes, lets go with some fun facts about the winner of this game that also include the number 3:

a) The Vicodins' point total was enough to beat exactly three teams, the aforementioned Korn on the Kolb, the imperfect Apples, and the Firesale-formerly-known-as-the-Coastals.

b) The 3rd place Vicodins have outscored 3 teams on the season. Those teams rank 9th, 11th, and 12th. It is called fantasy defense, people.




Aggies 94
Korn on the Kolb 65

Prediction: Right!

This game had minor MNF drama until it became clear Tony Gonzalez wasn't going to outscore Pierre Thomas by 20+ points. Otherwise an uninspiring game with some interesting good news/bad news scenarios going forward. Good news for the Aggies, Braylon Edwards caught a td pass and Pierre Thomas found the end zone again after shaking off a costly fumble. Bad news, Romo was clicking with his wide receivers, meaning Witten's production might not be as consistent as we'd previously expected. For KotK it was more bad news than good: a strong game from Romo was wasted and Steve Slaton's role in the Texans offense might finally be in jeopardy. After an early Slaton fumble, he was benched for the journeyman Ryan Moats who promptly dropped a franchise record 3 tds, suggesting a timeshare or backup role for the fumble-prone suckfest that is Steve Slaton. Given KotK's propensity for fantasy defense it is premature to count him out, but this was a bad week for the new guy.





Steel Curtain X 84
Everything-Must-Goastals 43

Prediction: Right!

Judging by the records this was a minor upset, but bye week problems for the Coastals made this a foregone conclusion. If the proposed trade goes through you can expect a lot more weeks like this for the once-proud Coastals who've sacrificed any hope of a winning season in relentless pursuit of depth at the Tight End position. Bravo to the Curtain, who may give Breach Kid a run for his money in the consolation bracket.



Breach Kid 97
Burrested Development 88

Prediction: Right! (and it hit the winning score on the nose)

You know what name does not sound like it belongs to a player in the national football league? William Percival Harvin III. And yet, "Percy" has made an impact on his team and on fantasy football. Still, despite the love of his quarterback and the shocking sturdiness of his tiny frame, Percy Harvin has fought for playing time on the one team that matters: BurrestedDevelopment. Sure it is fun to have a guy going on Monday night, but Percy would have made this another shockingly narrow loss for the Breach Kid. Instead, the best 1-6 team in the league became the best 2-6 team in the league. If there was any justice in fantasy football Breach would get to trade spots with the Vicodins in the standings and gear up for the stretch run.


Hoof Hearted 103
Nads-of-Steel XI 94

Prediction: Fantastic and Right!


Roddy White put this game away in the Monday Night Game, but this was a pretty exciting matchup. Anything that makes people hate Brett Favre is a good thing, and the ageless wonder's pounding of his old team made this one close. T.O. finally showed up, which could have made the difference here. Sadly, Owens was on the bench and Tory Holt was in the flex position. The Hoof Hearted express marches on, and the Nads' good effort falls just short.



Tackle Me Elmo 95
Ballsacks 80

Prediction: Right!

The Elmos are in the market for a tight end. It should be easy to find a veteran looking for one last shot at a ring. The loss of Owen Daniels cast a shadow over a good win for the league's best team. Maurice Jones-Drew inexplicably put up almost 17 more points than his real-life team, Barber and Colston also found the end zone, and Thomas Jones hit double digits and reminded Shonn Greene that he has held the job against many a young challenger before, and it won't be easy to dislodge him in New York. If the Elmos can fill the hole at tight end (snicker), they should have no trouble winning their next three games. At that point they'll have a stranglehold on first and will be gearing up for the playoffs. Since Harrison is out of good players to give away, competitive balance shouldn't change much and the Elmo juggernaut will sail to the regular season title.