WRAP UPS

JERSEY SHORE EDITION

(1) Kolb defeats Grantville -- Ronnie vs. guy in street. Yeah, the guy he got arrested for beating down. This goes back to season 1 when Ronnie was more fun than just being the subject of a typed note. Any time the team you are playing gets 27 from Fred Jackson, you have no chance of winning. Seriously, 27 from Fred freaking Jackson.

(2) Apples defeat Oedipus -- Sammi vs. J-Woww. For the entire lead up to this, you thoght Oedipus (J-Wooww) had it won. No way Sammi hangs with J-Woww, right? Just like there was no way Vick drops 50 on MNF. Then BAM. Sammi clocks J-Woww out of nowhere and Vicks destroys the Skins. What a gut punch loss.

(3) Ballsacks beat Duke Football -- Pauly D vs. Vinnie. Could they fight? Sure. Would they? Who knows. But if they did, it would certianly come down to the wire like this one. The opening play of MNF may have sealed the deal, but I was not paying close enough attention. Regardless, Pauly D's tats and hair win out by the slightest of margins.

(4) Curtain defeats Pride -- Ronnie vs. other guy in the street. This one is the dude Ronnie knocked out before the cameras could get there. He went right down, bro! It sucks when you could have perhaps had Dwayne Bowe, only he then drops 30 on you in a 20 point loss by KC. Fantasy football can really blow sometimes.

(5) Nads beats Horn -- Snooki vs. Angelina. David Garrard is the Angelina of fantasy football. If you get the most points on your team from him, you deserve to lose. Angelina threw a Hail Mary in calling everyone fake and throwing down with Snooki. It didn't work for her. Garrard's garbage points weren't enough for the Horn either.

(6) Hoof Hearted over Runts -- Situation vs. celebrity of the rest of the cast. Know matter how sucky The Situation might be, he still is the class of the crew and found his way onto DWTS. So even though Hoof is not the top point scorer in the league and yet again only scored thre 6th most points this week, he got it done. It irks me, but facts are facts. In a league where we don't play a defense, Hoof has the best defense in the league.