Week 1 Recaps

By: Jonathan

Well I finally did something right in this league and thus, my inaugural post. I have nothing clever or witty to say at this juncture (plus I don’t know how to imbed the wonderful pictures or videos that the rest of y’all do), but I plan to have many more opportunities over the course of the season. On to the recaps:

Steel Curtain XI (89.52) over Grantville Bandits (75.48)
The 11th incarnation of the Steel Curtain roared out to a victory in Week 1 behind #1 overall pick CJ and the well-coifed Mr. Gisele Bundchen. Unfortunately for the Bandits, the search for a RB needs to begin with the loss of Ryan Grant.

The Horn Supremacy (95.58) over Duke Plays Football? (69.48)
When will people learn that even using the name Duke in your team name is recipe for disaster even if it is slighting them? Just as on Saturdays, Duke never put up a fight on the gridiron and the newly-married Horn used a steady dose of Hakeem Nicks to bury Duke.

Crimson Pride (71.92) over Oedipus Rex Ryan (57.26)
This matchup was over the minute Crimson said “I’ll take Kevin Kolb” in the 5th round. I love having a fellow Coog in the League, but even I wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole. [Weeps about Donnie Avery’s injury]

Hoof Hearted (86.48) over ballsacks (59.02)
And the only team without a capital letter in their name comes up lame in their first action of the season falling to a team who’s QB completed only three passes in the second half and 107 yards total for the game.

Bama Runts (82.70) over The Virginia Apples (75.64)
A battle of teams with guys named Carson, Greg, Austin, Randy and Zach, which sounds more like a lacrosse match than a football game lead us to the closest battle of the week, the Runts outlasted the Apples despite Yahoo predicting their defeat. I really don’t have anything else to say about this matchup.

Korn on the Kolb (104.82) over Nads of Steel XII (65.12)
And from the closest matchup to the most lopsided, this Jew went into battle with an Arian and came out victorious.